<p>Learn the dialect your partner's family speaks at home. Not Modern Standard Arabic, and not whichever dialect has the most apps. If the family is from Lebanon, Syria, Jordan or Palestine, that means <strong>Levantine Arabic</strong>. If they're Egyptian, learn Egyptian. If they're Moroccan, learn Darija. The easiest way to find out is to ask your partner one question: <em>what do your parents speak at the dinner table?</em></p><p>It sounds obvious. But a lot of people get this wrong, spend a year on the wrong kind of Arabic, and arrive at the next family visit no closer to joining in. So let's go through it properly.</p><h2 id="5a431ae3-b765-4df3-a5e8-75ba0cf077e0" data-toc-id="5a431ae3-b765-4df3-a5e8-75ba0cf077e0" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">The phone call you can't follow</h2><p>Your partner's phone rings. It's their mum. Within two seconds the whole energy changes: the voice goes up, the laughing starts, the hand starts moving. You hear your own name somewhere in the middle. Everyone at the other end laughs. Your partner laughs. You smile, slightly too late.</p><p>Later you ask, "What did your mum say about me?" and you get, "Oh, nothing, she just asked how you are." You know it was more than that.</p><p>That's usually the moment people decide to learn Arabic. Not for an exam. For that phone call. For the next dinner. For the grandmother who doesn't speak English and still hugs you every time.</p><h2 id="9f94ce2e-8e74-454a-a59e-2ec5af020560" data-toc-id="9f94ce2e-8e74-454a-a59e-2ec5af020560" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Why not just learn "proper" Arabic?</h2><p>Modern Standard Arabic is the Arabic of newspapers, books, official speeches and the news. Every educated Arab understands it. But nobody speaks it at home.</p><p>If you greet your mother-in-law in MSA, she'll understand you perfectly, and she'll probably laugh. Kindly, but she'll laugh. It sounds like turning up to a family barbecue and speaking like a newsreader. Imagine your Arab partner learning English and greeting your parents with "Good evening. How do you fare?" Lovely effort. Slightly strange.</p><p>You want to sound like family, not like the evening news. So you need the dialect.</p><h2 id="50a9f7a0-f8e7-4358-ad34-0f1948f8dc66" data-toc-id="50a9f7a0-f8e7-4358-ad34-0f1948f8dc66" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Which dialect matches which family</h2><div class="tableWrapper"><table style="min-width: 50px;"><colgroup><col><col></colgroup><tbody><tr><th colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>If the family is from…</p></th><th colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Learn…</p></th></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Palestine</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Levantine Arabic</p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Egypt</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Egyptian Arabic</p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Iraq</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Iraqi Arabic</p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>UAE, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Oman, Saudi Arabia</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Gulf Arabic (Saudi has several regional varieties)</p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Maghrebi Arabic (Darija)</p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Sudan</p></td><td colspan="1" rowspan="1"><p>Sudanese Arabic</p></td></tr></tbody></table></div><p>A quick note on Levantine. Lebanese, Syrian, Jordanian and Palestinian Arabic are close cousins. There are differences in accent and some words, but they understand each other completely. So if your partner is Lebanese and the only good course you find is Syrian-based, don't worry. You'll pick up the family's local flavour very fast once you're around them.</p><p>One more case: mixed families. If your partner's dad is Syrian and the mum is Egyptian, ask which one dominates at home. Usually there's a clear answer.</p><h2 id="f96db06f-7b01-4478-9244-ef73e5d7427d" data-toc-id="f96db06f-7b01-4478-9244-ef73e5d7427d" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">What to learn first</h2><p>Forget the textbook order. For family life, these are the things that will make the biggest difference in the first few weeks.</p><p><strong>Greetings and how-are-yous.</strong> Arabic families greet a lot, and the answers are part of the ritual. "kiefak?" to a man, "kiefik?" to a woman. Learn the replies too, and you'll get through the first two minutes of every visit with confidence.</p><p><strong>Food phrases.</strong> Because there will be food. A lot of it.</p><ul><li><p><strong>SaHtein</strong>: "enjoy", said to someone eating. The answer is <strong>3a 'albak</strong> (to a man) or <strong>3a 'albik</strong> (to a woman), "on your heart".</p></li><li><p><strong>tislam idek</strong> to a man, <strong>tislami ideiki</strong> to a woman: "bless your hands", what you say to whoever cooked. Say this to your mother-in-law and watch what happens.</p></li><li><p><strong>akelt ktir, ma 3ad fee-ni</strong>: "I ate a lot, I can't any more". You'll need it. It won't work, but you'll need it.</p></li></ul><p><strong>Polite everyday phrases.</strong> <strong>ya3Teek el 3afye</strong> ("may God give you strength") to anyone who's been working, cooking or driving. The reply is <strong>allah y3afeek</strong>. It's one of the most Levantine things you can say.</p><p><strong>Family words.</strong> Mum, dad, grandma, uncle, aunt, and the difference between your dad's brother and your mum's brother (Arabic has separate words for them, and families care).</p><p><strong>The most common verbs.</strong> Want, go, come, eat, say, see, know. With a dozen high-frequency verbs you can say an amazing amount. That's why our course starts with what we call the Sweet 16, the sixteen most frequent verbs, before anything else.</p><h2 id="ab967f94-cf5f-4995-bb3a-2dda3145c4d2" data-toc-id="ab967f94-cf5f-4995-bb3a-2dda3145c4d2" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Should your partner teach you?</h2><p>Honest answer: mostly, no. At least not as your teacher.</p><p>Native speakers are rarely good at explaining their own language, and a couple where one person corrects the other every evening is not a happy couple. Plenty of people have quit Arabic not because it was hard, but because learning from their partner turned into an argument.</p><p>Your partner is much more useful as what the language-learning writer Chris Lonsdale calls a <strong>language parent</strong>: someone who talks to you patiently, uses simple words, understands what you're trying to say, and doesn't jump on every mistake. Do your learning with a course. Then use your partner for practice: ten minutes of Arabic at breakfast, the shopping list in Arabic, a few sentences before bed.</p><h2 id="cfd5a303-ccdc-470c-be39-94eb0e102e2a" data-toc-id="cfd5a303-ccdc-470c-be39-94eb0e102e2a" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Do you need to read Arabic script?</h2><p>Not for this. If the goal is to talk with the family, you can learn to speak first using a simple Latin-letter system, and pick up the script later if you want to. I go into that in <a target="_blank" href="https://www.storyinteracters.com/blog/can-you-learn-arabic-without-the-alphabet/">Can You Learn Arabic Without the Alphabet?</a></p><h2 id="3f38c4ee-feca-4bf2-aa9d-b927cc186788" data-toc-id="3f38c4ee-feca-4bf2-aa9d-b927cc186788" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Frequently asked questions</h2><h3 id="697e1eee-4bc7-41cc-ba22-2259882c89ea" data-toc-id="697e1eee-4bc7-41cc-ba22-2259882c89ea" style="text-align: left; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.2;">My partner is Lebanese. Should I learn Lebanese or Levantine Arabic?</h3><p>Lebanese is a type of Levantine Arabic. Any good Levantine course will work, and you'll adjust to the family's accent and favourite words quickly.</p><h3 id="66e02cd4-dc06-4166-83a3-6b5c87131f4d" data-toc-id="66e02cd4-dc06-4166-83a3-6b5c87131f4d" style="text-align: left; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.2;">Will my partner's family understand me if I learn MSA?</h3><p>Yes, but it will sound very formal at home. To join in everyday family conversation, you need their dialect.</p><h3 id="e5af9776-23ef-457e-840a-75e4e31ec1d5" data-toc-id="e5af9776-23ef-457e-840a-75e4e31ec1d5" style="text-align: left; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.2;">How long until I can talk to my in-laws in Arabic?</h3><p>With regular daily practice, most learners can handle greetings and simple table talk within a few weeks, and follow parts of real conversations within months. Understanding fast family chatter takes longer, and that's normal.</p><h3 id="7aaecb3f-ec38-4c11-9f21-7be1f1bb7034" data-toc-id="7aaecb3f-ec38-4c11-9f21-7be1f1bb7034" style="text-align: left; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.2;">What if the family speaks two dialects?</h3><p>Choose the one spoken most at home, usually the parents' shared dialect or the mother's. You'll pick up words from the other naturally.</p><h2 id="6fc57016-2d8d-451e-94a3-cac54af13a64" data-toc-id="6fc57016-2d8d-451e-94a3-cac54af13a64" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Ready to surprise the family?</h2><p>Storyinteracters is an online Levantine Arabic course for complete beginners. You learn to speak through interactive stories, starting with the most frequent verbs, and you never need the Arabic script.</p><p>Try the whole of Chapter 1 for free: just your email, no credit card.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.storyinteracters.com/course-detail/chapter-1-free/32142/"><strong>Start Chapter 1 free →</strong></a></p>

Your partner's family speaks Arabic and you want to join in. Which dialect to learn, why MSA isn't the answer, and the first phrases that make in-laws smile.

Which Arabic Should I Learn to Talk to My Partner's Family?

My partner is Lebanese. Should I learn Lebanese or Levantine Arabic?

Will my partner's family understand me if I learn MSA?

How long until I can talk to my in-laws in Arabic?

Learning Arabic is not difficult with Storyinteracters! In this page, we post our views and reactions on Language Learning, research, language and AI, as well as on topics related to learning Arabic specifically. Please send us articles and videos to review by email to info@storyinteracters.com and add comments to our blog!

Which Arabic Should I Learn to Talk to My Partner's Family?

Which Arabic Should I Learn to Talk to My Partner's Family?

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